Self-Sabotaging? Struggling With Self Esteem?

Setting goals but not achieving them? Let's break this self-sabotaging cycle right now and entirely change the trajectory of your future. 

We are all capable of changing our life for the better and creating a life we truly love. But first, we need to get really clear on what it is that we want and how we’re going to get it. 

You are such a powerful being. It’s true that you have the power to create and manifest anything you set your mind to. Since this is true, we must remain true to ourselves and live authentically in order to produce only the best for our lives.

People who live authentically are people who live entirely on their own path.

How you shape the way you see yourself is how you portray yourself to the world. You create the world that you live in. The things you surround yourself with, the people you have in your life and what you see, do and eat during your day are all products of what you pull into your life.

If you learn to stay true to yourself and allow yourself to only accept what you deserve and want into your life - you will begin to see such a positive change to your well being. 

If we truly believe in living an authentic life, then we must continually be learning about ourselves, challenging old beliefs, decluttering our baggage, and setting boundaries.

Creating a life that reflects your authentic self takes some determination and patience, but it’s easier than you may think.

If you want to succeed, you need to set goals. Without them you lack focus and direction. Goal setting has many benefits; it allows you to create a life you truly love, achieve more than you think you can, have a more focused direction in life, and give clarity in decision making. 

The key to achieving your goals is a variety of things, however one of my biggest lessons is teaching women that firstly in order to achieve their goals they need to believe them, elevate their energetic output and level up. This means boundaries, stepping up into this new version of yourself and actually committing to making a change. (if you want to create goals that can actually change your life!)

Crystal Clear Vision 

Think about the results you want to see. Before you set a goal, take a closer look at what you're trying to achieve and ensure that the goals you create are in alignment with your purpose. The importance of keeping your goals in alignment is that the result leads to immense growth, motivation, and helps you stay on track.

Creating fitness goals is a powerful way to help you achieve success. Goal setting will inspire you to take action and give you the motivation and direction you need to create sustainable, long-term lifestyle changes. 

There are many types of fitness goals you can aspire to - maybe you want to lift heavier, increase cardio, tone up, or break through a workout plateau? Whatever you want to achieve, having clearly defined fitness goals will help to keep you on track and give you something to work towards. Plus, it’s a pretty amazing feeling when you finally smash that fitness goal! 

I am a HUGE believer in not setting weight loss goals or physical goals - instead fitness or strength goals. Your body composition will follow. 

When it comes to setting your goals, consider five main requirements:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Relevant
• Time-bound

Working TOWARDS your goals improves your chances of achieving success, rather than working AWAY from the things or life you DON'T want. This means you will actually change your entire neural pathways when you consider the actions and dedication required in achieving your new life. 

Create goals for ALL areas in your life

• Personal development - maybe you want to buy a house in your favourite suburb, or buy yourself a particular model of car 
• Career - you may want to get that promotion that you’ve been working hard for, or start a new business venture
• Relationships - perhaps you’d like to go on a romantic date, reconnect with an old friend, build a stronger relationship with a family member, or meet a new like-minded friend
• Health and fitness - maybe you want to lose weight, build your core strength, or eat a more balanced diet
• Spirituality - perhaps you want to make daily prayer a habit, write in a gratitude journal each day, or take part in giving back in your local community

Have you seen my 'Health Is Wealth' Challenge (free) Watch Here 

Be Specific - WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT? TRULY?

You need to be really clear on what it is that you want to achieve. Vague goals just won’t cut it, sis. Clearly define your goal and think about the who, what, when, where, why of your desired outcome. For example, if you want to lose weight, how much weight do you want to lose and by when? Another example of a specific goal could be “I want to be able to do 10 pull-ups by the end of this year”. This goal implies you are working towards improving your strength and provides a focus for your training.

THEY MUST BE MEASURABLE 

To keep yourself motivated, it’s important to set your goals against a benchmark. If your goals are measurable, it's easier to track when you’ve achieved your goal or know how close you are. Our earlier goal of achieving 10 pull-ups specifies how many pull-ups you want to do and you can measure your progress by keeping track of how many you can successfully complete over time. Another example of a measurable goal could be running a personal best time, or lifting a specific weight for a new 1RM.

ACHIEVABLE & REALISTIC 

Goals should be challenging and push you, but they also need to be achievable. Saying you want to achieve 10 pull-ups in the next week or so is probably not an achievable goal if you’re a fitness beginner, and if you don’t hit your goal then it can become disheartening and unlikely you’ll continue.

If you set big goals, that’s absolutely fine too, sis! You will just need to break your big goals down into smaller, achievable goals that lead towards your bigger goal. For example you may wish to achieve 2 pull-ups by the end of your second week, or focus more on your upper body strength in your workouts so that you can work towards your larger goal.

MAKE SURE THEY ARE YOUR GOALS 

Not your doctors goals, a projection of your partner, or friends goals or because you feel you "should".

Your fitness goal has to be realistic and relevant to you and your individual circumstances, considering your lifestyle, health, current fitness level, resources, and available time. Think about why you want to achieve your goal and if it is appropriate for your health and lifestyle. Perhaps you want to achieve 10 pull-ups so that you feel stronger and healthier, and can be more active with your kids. If your goal is relevant to you and has meaning behind it, you will be more committed to working towards it. Goals should be high and challenging, but they need to suit your lifestyle. Trying to commit to making it to the gym five nights a week when you work late, have kids, or other lifestyle commitments, can be an unrealistic goal so try switching it for a goal relevant to your circumstances, for example working out at home. 

KNOW WHAT THE EMOTIONAL STATE IS THAT YOU ARE DESIRING BY SETTING THAT GOAL 

What emotional will you FEEL when you achieve your goal(s)? 

THIS IS CRITICAL - or you will forever be chasing a new goal without knowing why or what it is you actually are chasing for fulfilment. 

How will you know?

RAISE YOUR MINDSET & VIBRATIONAL ENERGY TO MATCH 

(Using The Emotional Guidance Scale) To Level Up To Your Goals & New Life 

A new you requires a new mindset. Have you ever been told to ‘just think positively’ when you’re feeling low? Often we’re told to flip our negative emotion to a positive one - like a flick of a switch. The truth is, jumping from a low vibrational space to a high vibrational energy is near impossible because too much momentum has already been created. Sure, we know that thinking positively will make things better, but how do we get there when we feel like we’re on the other side of the spectrum?

This is where we can utilise the Emotional Guidance Scale.

 

How to actually use the Emotional Guidance Scale

I know this might sound 'woo-woo'- however, levelling up in the mind to where you WANT to be is CRITICAL in achieving and belieivng your goals.

Hicks teaches us to move up the scale at our own pace. Instead of jumping over certain emotions (trying to skip from Anger to Joy, for example), we need to climb through the emotions. We must speak and think ourselves up on the scale, one emotion at a time.

For example, if you were experiencing feelings of despair (emotion number 22 on the scale), it would be near impossible to jump to the emotion of joy (number 1). You would need to address the next vibration on the scale which is grief (number 22) first. Stay there for a while until you feel, understand and address the emotion. Then you begin to move higher up the scale, onto emotion number 20, 19, 18, and so on. Each emotion is an improvement and you will strive to go upwards to reach the number 1 emotion of joy, freedom and love. 

This way, you are slowly dissolving the momentum of each low vibration and ultimately plugging into the highest creating vibrations. Instead of trying to just ‘get over it and be happy’, you are naming your emotions, you are owning them, accepting them, and then you are letting them go, one emotion at a time until you feel better.

Another example? Let’s say you’re feeling disappointed (emotion number 12) in someone for always being late. Try to invoke feelings of irritation (number 10) within yourself by asking why this bothers you - perhaps you feel as though they are disrespecting you and that evokes disappointment and irritation. Now go higher up the scale. Perhaps you say to yourself “I don’t care anymore, I’m not going to wait this time. I’m fine to go by myself”. Notice how your emotion improved and is now at the higher end of the scale near contentment (number 7)?

Keep finding thoughts that improve your feelings, and when you find a new, improved state of mind, you let go of the old one.

The Emotional Guidance Scale, created by Abraham Hicks and explained in the book Ask and It Is Given, is a scale of our feelings and emotions, in sequence from our highest vibrational feelings to our lowest. It is broken down into 22 of the most common emotions and, as you can see on the scale below, the higher up, the happier, and of course, the lower on the scale, the unhappier.

INTENTIONALLY LIVE - TAKE BACK YOUR POWER 

Intentional living is a lifestyle that encourages us to define our priorities, get clear on what we want from life and live every day in alignment with our purpose. Simply, living intentionally means deciding what you want from life and going for it.

How often have you felt like you’re going through the motions? The rat race? Making breakfast, your workout, having a shower, getting dressed - even sex with your partner or saying goodnight to your children.

Most would associate presence with simply turning off your phone or not talking to someone else when having a conversation - however intentional living changed my life and will for you also.

Doing everything in life with love and meaning is the difference between appreciating what you have, what you’re doing, attracting abundance and having an attitude of gratitude vs the ‘I have to workout, I need to diet, I have to do bedtime’ thoughts and emotions. 

It is truly asking yourself before you do ANYTHING - why am I doing this?

I wake up and meditate as it makes me feel happy, gives me clarity and purpose, I get to workout as it allows me to feel strong and keeps me fit, I eat delicious foods that make me GLOW, I love my friends because they give my connection and cup filling, I get to work because it allows me to help other women. 

To the big life decisions - why do you truly want to get married? Is it to feel loved and secure? Why do you want a baby? To feel secure in your relationship or needed? Being intentional (and honest!) with big life decisions makes them really clear!  

Right down to getting dressed in the morning - I select my clothing based on how it makes me feel, the way it fits and feels on my skin. I get to fill my car up so I can drive to destinations a lot would only dream about. 

It’s incredible the shift in your mind when you focus on intentionally living instead of going through the motions.

Can I ask you to describe your daily routine? Think deeply about what you do. But, more importantly, ask yourself why you do these tasks. Who are you serving when you make your daily choices? To live intentionally is essentially, to have a plan. It’s not only living everyday to fulfil your purpose but it is living according to your personal values and beliefs.

The benefits to living intentionally are priceless. To flow through life according to your own views, path to success and routine, as a result, provides you with a strong sense of fulfilment.

Below, we will break down what living intentionally really means and how you can make sure you’re executing this wonderful practice, every day. 

STOP LIVING A LIFE YOU HATE JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT 

Living Intentionally is living with a purpose. As you know, the choices that you make shape the life that you ultimately live. 

Making a plan to further progress you on your success in life provides you with clarity. 

If you move every day without a plan, you might find yourself more often feeling lost - searching for more - and living without gratitude. This ultimately keeps you from living a happy, fulfilling life. 

HOW TO LIVE INTENTIONALLY 

1. What are your values that you live your life by?

First and foremost, you have to acknowledge what path you want to lead. Meaning, you need to figure out what success means to you. 

Start by picturing yourself 2 years - 5 years from now. Picture yourself very happy with all segments in your life. 

What does your dream life look like? Would you be surrounded by money? Surrounded by friends and family? Both? Break it down fully.

Expand on what you want most out of your life. This will create your vision. Your why. What are you working so hard to achieve and for what? 

2. Surround yourself only with influences that will increase your growth

Provide yourself with the knowledge and growth that you want to see in the world. Build your influences yourself. Seek out inspiring books, listen to podcasts that enrich your mind, watch ted talks and youtube videos of speakers that speak out to you.

You can find lessons on what you love - everywhere. Keep learning and growing your mind.

3. Create a routine that helps increase your personal development

Everyone in this world gets the same 24 hours in a day. Take away 8 hours for sleeping, and then take away another - approx 6 hours for eating and washroom breaks. This leaves you with 10 hours. How will you spend those 10 important, life-changing hours?

To live intentionally is to use those hours to serve you. Serve your mind, your soul and your body. 

Taking the time to insert joy, progress and mindfulness into your day pushes you towards a happier, more fulfilling life. 

BE CONFIDENT IN WHAT YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT- STAND UP - EVEN IF YOUR VOICE SHAKES 

Lastly, build a love between you and what you love. Let the passion and inspiration fill you up and don’t allow anyone to knock that down. There’s a reason why what you do makes you so happy. Hold on to that. It’s special and important and it feeds your soul with what it needs.

Instead, share your love with others and teach them your ways. Don’t shrink yourself for others because it only translates that back to yourself, negatively. 

Let it build you up and stand up tall. Don't want to drink? Say no. Mean it. Speak up. 

PRACTISE GRATITUDE 

We all forget to appreciate the little moments sometimes. Setting some time each day to practice self-care and write down how you’re feeling and what you’re grateful for is SO important to empowering your life and being true to yourself. Aim to write down three things in your life that you are grateful for each day.

Live life with an 8 year old and see the world through their eyes- life is beautiful. 

There’s no better time than the present. The sooner you start identifying and setting your fitness goals, the closer you are to achieving them. You’ll also need to set a deadline for your goal. This allows you to work out a realistic plan and schedule to achieve your goal.

As with all goals, it’s important to keep track of your progress. You may encounter fitness setbacks - but that’s ok! Don’t give up, you got this GF! Find a way to track your progress and maintain motivation. Reward yourself and be kind to yourself, always. 

There’s no better time than the present. The sooner you start identifying and setting your fitness goals, the closer you are to achieving them, sis, so let’s go!

Let’s go ... The sooner you begin creating your goals and living a life aligned with your goals, the sooner your life will begin to change. It’s true what they say, there’s no better time than the present. Not Monday, tomorrow- right now. 

Remember that whatever your goals may be, they should come from your own desires, dreams, ideas, values and beliefs. There's no point in having a goal that is driven by others unless you truly want it for yourself as well. Why? Because there's no greater source of motivation than yourself! A simple way to stay motivated and disciplined, is to repeat affirmations personal and uplifting to you each day so you never forget why you started. Try these:

'I WILL FIGHT FOR IT', 

'I REFUSE TO GIVE UP'

'I WILL REACH MY GOAL’

If you’re looking for proven step-by-step formulas to discover what it is you truly need, I highly recommend joining me on Project You. Together we can dive deep into finding your purpose and start asking the universe for what you truly want.

It’s easy to feel stuck in a rut sometimes. To feel like there’s no way out of your situation and that life is just something that happens to you, rather than for you - or even by you.

Taking control of your life may seem like a mystery, but if you’re prepared to have an open mind, do the work and truly focus on yourself, then you really can get yourself back in the driving seat of your life sooner than you think. 

To take back your power and detangle yourself from certain people or situations, it’s important to show up as the empowered version of yourself and speak your truth.  

I’d love to know what life-changing goals you have set so reach out to me in the comments below, email or on my socials. 

Sophie x