Why You Self-Sabotage and Practical Steps to Stop Today

Why You Self-Sabotage and Practical Steps to Stop Today

Let’s cut straight to the chase: you’re standing in your own way. Sound harsh? Maybe. But here’s the truth—it’s also empowering. If you’re the problem, that means you’re the solution.

So let’s unpack the why behind your self-sabotage and how to dismantle it starting right now.

The Cycle of Self-Sabotage

You know that thing you’re avoiding doing today?
The workout, the phone call, the project that’s gathering digital dust? Yeah, that thing.
What you may not realise is that self-sabotage is rarely about the thing itself. It’s about the emotion you’ve attached to it. Maybe it’s:

• Sadness (if it reminds you of something painful)
• Fear (of failure or even success—yes, that’s a thing!)
• Boredom (because it’s just not sparking joy)

Here’s the kicker: your brain is wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. So, when you associate the task with discomfort, your subconscious slams on the brakes. It’s like having a well-meaning, overprotective bodyguard that doesn’t realise it’s keeping you from growth.

The NLP Perspective

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is all about rewiring your thought patterns to unlock behaviour change. Think of your brain as a computer. Right now, it’s running outdated software—scripts like “I’m not good enough” or “This is too hard.” With NLP, you can install new, empowering beliefs to take their place.

Let’s dive into how.

Step 1: Identify the Real Emotion

Ask yourself:

• What is the thing I’m avoiding today?
• What’s the emotion I’ve attached to it?

Write it down. Be brutally honest. The moment you name the emotion—fear, sadness, boredom—it loses some of its power. Awareness is the first step to change.

Step 2: Reframe the Task

Your brain loves stories, so change the one you’re telling. Instead of focusing on what you lose by doing the thing (time, comfort, ease), reframe it in terms of what you gain:

• The satisfaction of ticking it off your list.
• The confidence boost of proving you can.
• The long-term success tied to this small, daily win.

For example, instead of saying, “I hate meal prepping; it’s so boring,” reframe it as: “I love how empowered I feel when my future self is set up for success.”

Step 3: Break It Down

Overwhelm is sabotage’s BFF. If the task feels too big, your brain goes into shutdown mode. Break it into bite-sized steps that feel achievable.

• Avoiding your workout? Commit to just putting on your shoes.
• Dreading a report? Set a timer for 15 minutes and chip away.

Action kills anxiety. Start small, and momentum will follow.

Step 4: Anchor a Positive Emotion

Here’s the where magic kicks in.

1. Close your eyes and think of a time you felt unstoppable—like you could conquer anything.
2. Imagine that feeling flooding your body.
3. Now, link that energy to the task you’re avoiding.

The goal is to create a neural association between the task and a positive state of mind. Practice it often enough, and your brain rewires the connection.

Step 5: Practice Self-Compassion

Self-sabotage thrives on shame. Break the cycle by forgiving yourself for past stumbles. Remind yourself that progress is messy, and perfection is a myth. You’re human, and growth is the goal.

The Bottom Line

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just operating on old mental scripts. But guess what? You can change them—starting today.

So, I’ll leave you with this:

-What’s the one thing you’re avoiding today?
-What’s the emotion holding you back?
-And, most importantly, what’s the future you’re creating when you decide to take action anyway?

Get after it. Your higher self is waiting.